Yesterday, two young men in suit jackets approach Jared at the mall to talk to him about Mormonism. They have little name badges on their chests: "Elder Titov" is dark-haired and confident, while "Elder Berry is lighter and tentative. Jared has heard of Mormons before with their magic underwear and their secret rituals but he is surprised that two such young men, no more than 18 or 19, would call themselves Elders and try to convert him. He knows his master will love these two strikingly beautiful, innocent boys, so he invites them to visit his house the next day. His master is extremely pleased and immediately plans a series of ingenious tortures. Next week: Elder, help me!
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